Lana Vaughan

I’m taking some online courses to finish my college degree. The actual material isn’t very difficult but the “discussion” questions are frustrating. I understand the purpose of questions in this situation is to verify the student has read and even possibly comprehends the information presented but the art of questions seems to be a lost, if ever acknowledged, art.

Conversational questions that begin with “Do you want…” can be answered with “Yes” or “No”. Simple and straightforward. But if you add one more word to those same three little words it becomes an open-ended question “What do you want…” that can lead to discussion and further information.

Nothing shuts down the flow of communication faster that a closed question unless it’s a vague question. “Do you not know…” Huh? When a simple “Do you know…” leaves the respondent able to formulate a fitting reply rather than decipher what the actual question is.

Written questions present their own set of challenges in that you can’t actually hear the tone or see the expression that goes with the words. Leading questions that are clear enough to direct the respondent to the desired answer may be so full of the answer itself or so incredibly obvious that it leaves the respondent nothing to add or with a sense of futility. The flip side of that coin are the questions that are so broad the respondent has no clue what the questionnaire is trying to ascertain.

At the same time I am taking the online classes I am over seeing the independent study program my teenage daughter is taking through the local school district. This morning I was going over the written responses to the assigned reading passages for her Language Arts assignments. The answers were well thought out but incredibly short. After reading the questions I was impressed she was able to write as much as she did.

I am also teaching a study through Genesis right now. This is my fifth time teaching through this material and each time the emphasis has been different. This time the thing that is really jumping off the pages for me personally are the questions God asks. He asks some very open-ended questions.

“Where are you?”

“Who told you you were naked?”

“Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”

“What is this you have done?”

“Why are you angry?”

“Why has your countenance fallen?”

“Where is your brother?”

“Where have you come from?”

“Where are you going?”

“What’s the matter with you?”

Later Jesus shows the same inquiring facet of God’s character with some very open-ended questions.

“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”

“Which is easier to say, “Your sins are forgiven,” or to say, “Get up and walk?”

“What do you want?”

“Who do you say I am?”

We’re heading into a new year and a big question is “what are you going to do with it”? Before you start searching for answers. I would encourage you to really take a long hard look at the questions you are asking.

What is the first question that came to mind?

What is the question you have been carrying around in search of an answer for the longest?

What one question would you most like to have a solid answer for?

Find better answers…Ask better questions…

So last night I went to print out the words for the first night of Hanukkah and was so low on black ink that the words didn’t show up. Moving the menorah to my office and reading the words off my computer screen was a nice private moment  of prayer and quiet.

Imagine my “surprise” this afternoon when I opened my desk drawer to find an index card to write the words on for tonight and found not one but two ink cartridges!  Don’t tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor. I can almost hear Him chuckling and see the big smile on His face.

There is an illusion that communication is easier now than ever. I don’t buy it. Sure we have more ways and faster ways of communicating but as any blogger or marketer will tell you “Content is king!” And I think the king is dead.

A hundred years ago if I wanted to tell you something I would track you down and tell you to your face. The faster version was to tell the neighborhood gossip who would do that for me but for the most part communication was personal. Then the ease and speed of the telegraph made it possible for messages to be delivered long distances. The original twitter, most were kept short and the details left out allowed for vast amounts of imagination and fear to fill in those missing points.

The telephone simplified things, didn’t it? Instead of tracking you down I could just ring you up and without having to look in your eyes I could let you know what I was thinking or tell you what I thought you wanted to hear. It was so much easier not to have to look at you when I told you I was “too sick” to come to work or that I’d love to be there but just couldn’t make it.

The answering machine made communication even more remote. “I’m too busy to talk to you so leave a message and I’ll get back to you when I’m good and ready if at all…BEEP!” We didn’t have to talk anymore. Phone tag became acceptable.

Even the art of putting pen to paper has been over run and impersonalized. One look at my penmanship addressing Christmas cards made me realize just how lazy I’ve become. Words I write often flowed smoothly but the names and addresses I write once a year were halting and in one case so illegible the post office returned it undeliverable.

Now email and voice mail have been reduced to texting, mostly done on “smart phones”. How smart are they really? Built in auto spell has been responsible for many humorous messages sent when the sender was in too much of a hurry to actually read what the phone predicted the message was going to be.

Skype and Facebook and all the lesser social connections don’t come close to replacing the personal interaction of face to face over coffee or lunch or a clothes line. Anybody remember the look of the backyards on a summer day when not only your towels but your underwear was  dancing in the warm breeze along with the rest of the neighbors?

“Status” is so easy to hide behind. In some ways I think it’s the ultimate poser shield. It may say “Available” or “On line” but the truth is so often “Multi-tasking” or “Distracted”.

As the pressure and emotion packed into this week every year begins to build I wonder if above all the noise, among all the ways to communicate, with all the possibilities if we haven’t lost something. I know I have. There is a song (isn’t there always?) that has been on my playlist a lot lately.

If you are reading this, I would love to hear from you. I would love to have coffee and hear your story. I would love to hear your voice on the phone at the very least. And if you honor me with a real letter I will answer with my own pen to paper.

Tell me ’bout the good old days.

Perspective is a very tricky thing. It is not possible for any two people to see anything exactly a like. Their journey and personality and preferences just make it impossible to match up exactly. Ask any two witnesses what they saw and the things they remember are different. One can tell you the color, make, model and year of the car. The other will be vague on the vehicle but can describe the tatoo on the right forearm of the passenger in the back seat because it was hanging out the window with a cigarette half smoked.

There is an old Indian proverb about walking a mile in another’s moccasins. But if you ever try walking in anyone else’s shoes your feet will quickly let you know that the shoes have conformed to the owner’s foot and your foot will not change that. But it may show you why your friend or foe walks the way they do.

Just something to consider as you walk through the day in your own shoes. Snarf!