In the past week three separate incidents have occurred with the same basic theme…Adult bullying.

The first was a twitter comment indicating that there was something wrong with people who like milk chocolate. When I questioned the twit she said she was just joking around. I didn’t find it funny.

The second was a product that was lampooned by a nationally broadcast talk show and picked up on Facebook. I happen to like the product and find nothing sexist about it.

The third was a conversation over breakfast on Saturday where a woman at my table went into great detail about how ridiculous she thinks English people are for putting milk in their tea.

I am English by birth, Irish by marriage and American by choice.

I like enjoy milk chocolate.

I use Bic Lady Crystal pens.

I take milk, a dash of Angostura and one packet of Truvia in my Earl Grey.

That doesn’t make me wrong or sexist or ridiculous.

I just makes me me.

If my choice of chocolate or ink pens or tea is that offensive I’m truly sorry. But if I change because someone thinks less of me for these choices I will lose respect for myself and that is a choice I cannot make.

In an ever increasingly noisy world really listening is becoming a lost art.

I know you think you know what I said but

what you think you heard

may not actually be what I said.

When you add the complication of a technological advancement

to the transaction communication

can get even more garbled and impersonal.

Multitasking may seem like an efficient way to operate

but if your attention is divided

then the person trying to

give you information or extract information

from you is not getting your best.

This season of hustle and bustle and pressure and stress,

may I encourage you to really, really

listen.

Yesterday some things changed. And there’s a good possibility something happened today that was different. Tomorrow is pretty much up for grabs. I’ve heard it said that the only constant is change. So why do we find it so difficult to accept? Why do we dig our heels in and resist?

There are whole departments in companies who’s sole focus is to create something new and different. Medical research is devoted to changing the human condition. Research and Development think tanks devote years to devise a better widget.

Is this moment, the way things are so great that you want to preserve it? Don’t get me wrong. Some moments are much better than others. But to be stuck there…I don’t think so. As great as your wedding day might have been if you stayed in that day you would have missed the birth of your child. As great as holding that precious child was, if they never changed you would still be changing diapers. Everything changes!

Even our memory changes. I used to listen to my father in law tell stories. He could recite the same story the same way over dinner every night for a week. He remembered the story but forgot he told it last night and the night before. It was on his mind and he wanted to share it. I learned after listening for a while that if I broke into his recitation and asked him a question the story changed. He remembered other details and the story expanded. Things he had forgotten came back to him. Not by the recitation but by the questions.

It’s the questions that generate the change. Why is it doing that? How can we fix the problem? Where can I help? Who needs me?

And when you embrace the questions you learn to embrace the change.

…was a Friday. Most people were probably looking forward to the weekend. Some were heading out of town for that post-Labor day trip to the beach. School was in session and kids were complaining that it was too soon while parents were grateful for the routine to begin again.

Do you remember where you were that Friday? Who did you spend time with? If you’re like most people you may not remember very clearly. It was just another ordinary Friday night. Just like today is another ordinary Wednesday.

But I’m pretty sure you remember where you were four days later. That was the day our generation will never forget. It joins the collection of dates that mark great upheaval in our personal lives and in our national journey. The day Kennedy was shot. D-Day. Black Friday. Kent State. Neil Armstrong. Just the mention of these words bring back powerful memories for some and for others a blank reference.

Over the next few days there will be countless blogs and article and special programming about 9/11. But it’s today I want you to remember. The ordinary days of our lives that slip by too quickly unheralded and unmemorialized.

Someone died today leaving behind loved ones who don’t know how they will keep breathing. Someone was born today. A blessing beginning with a cry of joy and pain changing so many lives just by being alive. Someone got a job at last and someone worked their last day.

Firefighters across the nation are racing toward the danger today. Texas is blazing. Parts of the northeast are still underwater from a week ago and people in Joplin are still facing the aftermath of the tornado months later.

There is nothing ordinary today, dear reader. It’s just too precious to let slip away.