Lana Vaughan

Reality Developer, Helping take dreams out of the clouds and make them reality


Joe Fox: It wasn’t… personal.

Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn’t personal to you. But it was personal to me. It’s *personal* to a lot of people. And what’s so wrong with being personal, anyway?

Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.

Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.

These few lines from “You’ve Got Mail” have stuck with me, especially that last part. “Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.”  How often do you hear someone say “Don’t take it personally” or “That’s too personal” or “I don’t know them personally, but…”?

This year I turned 49 and maybe it’s just the season in my life but I don’t think so. I think I have always taken things personally. When I care I care. When I stop caring I’m gone. Be it relationship, church, movie, book, whatever. When it stops being personal, when I stop caring about being connected I stop putting effort into maintaining the connection.

This weekend I made some choices to let things go. Some of those things were relationships that weren’t healthy. The people are not bad people. Don’t get me wrong. But the relationship wasn’t good. Yesterday I wrote about the almost 7 billion people in the world and how rare you are, dear reader. As I move into the realm of Google+ I am looking at my circles and the ones with the fewest people are the ones that I consider the most personal. My Inner Circle, if you will. Those who’s lives I am invested in and who are invested in me. They are personal.

I make no apologies. I like personal. I need personal. I am personal. I will continue to be personal.  And that is my personal opinion. What you do with it is up to you. But whatever it is, it will be a your personal decision and I can live with that.


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2 Replies

  1. Deb

    My kind of offshoot response to this: I think that with all the virtual relationship interactions, some interpersonal relations suffer. I, for certain, am currently interacting more by social network than face to face due to illness and can see/feel the slow ebb of quality personal relationships in my own life. And also, when I am out there in the world interacting, I cherish the personal moments but also see the need for “not taking things personally” when interacting with those who I’d rather not “let in”. If I do take something personally, one could take that as a compliment. I actually care enough about that person to let them affect me in that way. Those who offend or assault me inter-personally are those closest to me. Those who I don’t interact with more deeply? They still might behave in a way that might offend or assault but it’s water off a duck’s back and i’m off and swimming again. :o)

    1. Good point, Deb. I think virtual relationships have a built in tendency to dissipate rather than deepen.

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